Beer and Loathing in Wrigleyville: DS Tequila Company, 3352 N. Halsted St., Chicago, IL

Standard

Type: All-You-Can-Eat Tacos 

Price: $$$

http://www.dstequila.com/

I don’t hang out in Wrigleyville much, but when my friend Stefania from Pizza for Life asked if I wanted to check out DS Tequila Company’s all-you-can-eat taco night, you bet your taco eating a** I said yes. Just to make sure they weren’t trying to get me in the door with one or two crappy taco options, I checked the menu, and sure enough, there was a plethora of seemingly fancy tacos at my disposal. Our Father, who art in heaven, Taco be thy name.

Margarita slushy machines!

Margarita slushy machines!

When we walked in, a friendly host immediately checked my ID, so this is not really a place you can take the kiddos. After a little table switch we sat down and began to look at the menu. Our server gave us a spiel about all their specials that I could have sworn included jalepeño poppers and pizza shooters. It seemed to go on for days. That’s great and all, but I just want to get to stuffing my face hole with all-you-can-eat tacos!

I started off with three tacos: a coffee rubbed steak taco, a battered fish taco, and a crispy chicken taco. However, in tiny little letters on the menu under “Tacos” there is a disclaimer that says all of their tacos are served on handmade flour tortillas, with gluten free corn tortillas available upon request. Serving me a taco on a flour tortilla without telling me is like kicking a cancer kid in the balls on Christmas. I tried one anyway. After all, they were handmade. And you know what? Handmade or not, it was gummy and just reaffirmed my necessity for a taco to be served on a corn tortilla. It actually might have worked if the tortilla were toasted a little more. 

The tacos themselves were not as small as I was expecting, considering it was all you can eat. The meat in the steak taco looked like somebody accidentally dropped it in a can of Folgers. It actually tasted pretty good, but the steak was dry. The spicy aioli wasn’t bad, however it was not spicy at all. And the corn tortillas were a million times better than the flour tortillas, but they started to fall apart mid-taco. Unfortunately, it only goes downhill from here, folks. 

The battered fish taco was meh, in every sense of the word. It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t great. I’m pretty sure if you went into your freezer and nuked up a fish fillet, dropped it in a tortilla and slapped some tartar sauce on, it would pretty much be what I ate. Also, for some reason the term battered fish reminds me of a goldfish that is in some kind of terrible domestic situation. 

The crispy chicken was seriously offensive to my taco sensibilities. I pretty much felt like I just took a bite out of a crispy chicken wrap from McDonald’s. I didn’t even want to finish it, but I felt like a douche ordering more all-you-can-eat tacos when I still had food on my plate. I will not even dignify this taco with any more insults. 

I ordered two more tacos, a shrimp taco and a chorizo taco. They were both actually not that bad. The shrimp, though rubbery, had a tasty pineapple pico de gallo topping. Rubbery shrimp doesn’t really bother me all that much. The chorizo taco was pretty good, but I can’t help but think that they just drowned it in a spicy Manwich sauce.  

DS Tequila Company Taco Review

The main offender

We also ordered chips, which came with three different salsas: tomatillo, spicy ranch, and red salsa. The tomatillo had avocado and ended up being creamy and gross, like they had babies barfing up peas and half & half into the salsa bowls in the kitchen. Their spicy ranch salsa tasted pretty good, but for some reason it felt wrong to be dipping my chips into ranch dressing. You just know someone’s Mexican grandmother disapproves. The red salsa was the best and most like a traditional salsa. A little chunky and smoky, it tasted all right.

Parking might be kind of tough since this is the Wrigleyville/Boystown area, but if you come during the week you should be okay. You will have to pay a meter, though. I do not like giving places bad reviews, so you should really come check it out for yourself. You might like it. My recommendation: If you are really hungover on a Thursday and feel like you can eat your weight in tacos, come to DS Tequila Company and eat them out of house and home. Despite the not-so-amazing tacos, it really is a pretty awesome deal. 

I give DS Tequila Company 2.5 out 5 chiles. 

DS Tequila Company can be found at 3352 N. Halsted St., Chicago, IL (773) 697-9127

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